I have not blogged about being pregnant, well, since I announced I was pregnant. So I guess this is overdue. I’m making new observations every day though, so maybe now’s the perfect time.
With 36 weeks down and about 4 to go, here’s a sampling of what I’ve learned / observed thus far:
–40 weeks does not really fly by. I have lost count with how many people have said to me, “Wow, the time has flown by, hasn’t it?” Uh not really! I’m so ready to have this baby! I feel like I’ve been preggo forever. Sure the first trimester was pretty easy for me. But I purposely did not go public with my news until the entire first trimester had passed, just to be extra careful. So it may seem to some that I just got pregnant, but it does not to me!😉
And whoever came up with this ‘nine months’ idea of our gestation length clearly was not good at math. Most months are 4 weeks long and 40 divided by 4 is 10. 10 months is a long gestational period. And before you respond with, “But Lindsay the start of a pregnancy is from your first missed period, so you’re not really pregnant in the first two (ish) weeks. And Lindsay, you are technically to term at 37 weeks,” Let me remind you, I know.
Yes, folks, I’m well aware. But as someone who tried to conceive for 13 months, I pretty much acted as though I was pregnant during that time. I had an occasional drink or two, but for the the most part, I assumed my efforts would pay off each month we tried. And as for being ‘to term’ at 37 weeks, how many first time moms have their babies early? VERY few. In fact, many first time moms deliver after 40 weeks.
–There is no such thing as too much pampering. I waited too long to go see a chiropractor and get massages because I thought I was being a wuss. Every chiro visit and every massage I have since gotten during my pregnancy has been worth every single penny. If I had it to do all over again, I would have gone at the first twinge of back pain. Lesson learned. A pregnant woman can never spoil herself too much. In that same vein, naps and bubble baths are always a good idea.
–Many women don’t really feel your pain. Just as I’ve lost count with the “Hasn’t the time flown by” comments, I’ve also lost count of how many women somehow forget what it feels like to be pregnant for the first time. If I had a dollar for the number of times I’ve heard the, “Oh just wait, it gets worse” comment in response to the very few times I’ve complained on Facebook about having an icky day, I’d be in the top 1% of the US. “It gets worse” is really not what I wanted to hear. A simple, “I’ve been there, ” or I dunno, “It’ll be worth it,” would have sufficed. In my experience, the best people to talk to about pregnancy aches and pains are a) men or b) women who have not conceived yet.
Note: There are some very amazing exceptions to this observation and those amazing people know who they are. I thank them all the time for their awesome support.
–I prefer male OB/GYNs over female. As a teen, I remember thinking, “I’ll never be comfortable having a man check out my lady parts.” Let me tell ya, just with many women generally not feeling much empathy for a nervous mom-to-be, female OB/GYNs do not seem to be as empathetic as I had hoped. Thankfully my primary OB is a man. Yesterday, one of the female OBs at my doctor’s office had the gall to say to me, “Wow. I think you’re going to have a really big baby. I hope you can push him out.” YOU HOPE I CAN PUSH HIM OUT?!?! Oh my God. That’s some seriously terrible bedside manner.
What on God’s green earth did she think she was going to accomplish, other than giving me an anxiety attack?! I’m pretty sure that a male OB would be far less likely to utter those words. I’m not discounting her “You are all baby. You have not gained weight anywhere else” comment. That part was nice. But to follow it up with unnecessary anxiety about childbirth (something I’m quite terrified about already), was totally uncool. She also said, “You’re steering this ship. We will do whatever you want at the hospital.” (Also somewhat helpful, but really did not erase the previous comment.) I wanted to reply with, “Can you administer the epidural in the parking lot then? Clearly my ginormo baby is going to rip me apart.” But I refrained. Of course I didn’t want to sound the hormonal mess I actually was.
–No one is short on opinions. Yes, I know this one is rather obvious, but again I cannot stress enough how much a first-time mom-to-be just needs a little reassurance from time to time. I think I’ve been pretty even keel over these 36 weeks, despite the enormous hormonal upheaval going on in my body. I am extremely thankful that we finally conceived naturally. I’ve been super excited for something big, like my shower, to something small, like washing the baby’s newborn clothes. And of course I’m beyond stoked to meet Thomas Liam!!! I also have NOT taken it for granted that I had ZERO nausea or vomiting. I count my blessings all the time.
Despite my natural positive attitude, I have had rough days. My breasts were sore for 16 weeks straight at the beginning of my pregnancy. My back has been in pain pretty much every day since my belly popped, making exercise much more difficult than I had anticipated. In addition, I don’t think a day has gone by in 36 weeks that I have not had heartburn that ranged from ‘uncomfortable’ to ‘holy crap I’m on fire.’ 99% of the time I follow the “If I don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” rule because I do remember the wonderful payoff that is coming at the end of this journey. But if I slip and I happen to share a simple complaint, I am just looking for encouragement, not a reminder that someone had it worse than me. A little cheerleading goes a LONG way.
–I do know it’ll be worth it. I know what moms say must be true – all the aches and pains and anxiety must be immediately forgotten after the miracle of childbirth. I also fully agree that motherhood will be one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. But my current state of mind is, “I want to do this just once.” Which leads me to my next observation…
–It is OK to “only” have one child. Heck, it’s OK to not want/have ANY. It broke my heart to recently have met a couple who had almost a scripted disclaimer about how they did not want kids. I reassured them that there was NOTHING wrong with them and shame on anyone who didn’t respect their perfectly fine decision.
As for me – I’m an only child and I honestly do not feel like I missed out on a thing. If anything, I feel extra blessed. I never experienced sibling rivalry. I never had hand-me-downs. My parents always had time for me. So what’s not OK? Assuming we’ll have another child. (You know what they say about the word ‘assume.’) Currently, a common question we’ve heard is, “When are you going to have a second?” Or worse I’ve even heard, “You NEED to have a second.” Um, no I don’t. We’re going to do what feels right for “Team Warren” – Lindsay and Rich. Maybe that will mean a second. Maybe it won’t. Right now, one dog, one cat and one child sounds absolutely perfect to me.
But that’s up to us and no one else;-)
So in closing…HERE’S TO FOUR WEEKS THAT I DEFINITELY WANT TO FLY BY!
I’d love to hear some of your pregnancy observations! Weigh in!