Practicing gratitude and thanking people I care about is one of my absolute favorite things in my life! Apparently today is World Gratitude Day. My dad used to say, “The harder I work, the luckier I get.” I kinda feel like “The harder I thank, the luckier I get!”
Having my life unexpectedly change a few years ago has honestly been one of the best things that could have ever happened to me. Before some of you who hear me (and I do have friends and a therapist who very patiently listen to me) struggle day-to-day to reinvent myself yell “BULLSHIT, Lindsay!”…hear me out. 🙂
If all the stuff that happened to me had NOT in fact happened…
- I am pretty damn sure I would have been stuck in a rut.
- I am pretty damn sure I would still have resentment.
- I am pretty damn sure would still act like a martyr sometimes.
- I do not think I would be the friend I am today.
- I do not think I would be the mom I am today.
- I know I would not have done all the work I have and continue to do on myself.
- I know I would not be NEARLY as self-aware as I am now.
- I know I would not have met some of the wonderful people who are in my life now.
- I know I would not have pushed myself to do better, BE better.
- I know I would simply not be the version of myself that I am today.
- And I know for sure would not have been forced to re-emerge like a Phoenix.
This may sound crazy, but I am grateful for my ex and his new wife. I’m not grateful for the way things happened of course. I’m not grateful for secrets and lies and the corresponding trauma and baggage that I’m desperately trying to discard. I’m not interested in spending any time with them. But I’m 100% grateful that my ex freed me to become myself again. I’m grateful to become the mom Tommy has always deserved. I’m grateful that Tommy’s dad seems to have found his happiness. For that, we both will be better parents. I’m eternally grateful how these life changes have brought Tommy and me even closer than we were before. Lastly, I’m grateful I have been freed to find a partner that is better suited for me. (Someday…when the timing is right anyway…I hope.)
Next, I’m grateful for how my ex leaving me has brought me so many new, WONDERFUL friends. These friends have brought out the best in me. They have challenged me in all the best ways — ways to help me grow, ways to keep me accountable. When one door closes, many new ones open for me.
My “new life” has also brought me closer to my long time friends…Closer than I could have ever imagined. They are like sisters to me. I’m truly a lucky woman.
Also, I’m grateful that I have been forced to learn patience. You all who know me well know that I probably struggle with this the most. I admit it — I am not patient! But struggles make me so much stronger. I’ll get there.
In addition, I’m so grateful for the freedom to sell my house and pick out a brand-new one for Tommy and me all by myself (with two AMAZING realtors of course). That level of liberation is so exciting. I spent some time in my new home this past week and now it truly does feel like HOME.
This pandemic has helped me take stock of something that I never took for granted but missed SO MUCH — live music. I cannot believe I get to go see Glass Animals with my friend Rebecca in less than two weeks. I am so excited to see X Ambassadors for the first time in November with my friend Rachel. And I’m always grateful to see Snow Patrol with my friend Jill and Our Lady Peace with my friend Kathy, who we will get to see live in 2022.
I’m beyond grateful for this new chapter of my life. I’m most grateful for a second chance to have the life I truly want.
What are YOU grateful for today?