Observations from a mom-to-be

I have not blogged about being pregnant, well, since I announced I was pregnant. So I guess this is overdue. I’m making new observations every day though, so maybe now’s the perfect time.

With 36 weeks down and about 4 to go, here’s a sampling of what I’ve learned / observed thus far:

40 weeks does not really fly by. I have lost count with how many people have said to me, “Wow, the time has flown by, hasn’t it?” Uh not really! I’m so ready to have this baby! I feel like I’ve been preggo forever. Sure the first trimester was pretty easy for me. But I purposely did not go public with my news until the entire first trimester had passed, just to be extra careful. So it may seem to some that I just got pregnant, but it does not to me! 😉

And whoever came up with this ‘nine months’ idea of our gestation length clearly was not good at math. Most months are 4 weeks long and 40 divided by 4 is 10. 10 months is a long gestational period. And before you respond with, “But Lindsay the start of a pregnancy is from your first missed period, so you’re not really pregnant in the first two (ish) weeks. And Lindsay, you are technically to term at 37 weeks,” Let me remind you, I know.

Yes, folks, I’m well aware. But as someone who tried to conceive for 13 months, I pretty much acted as though I was pregnant during that time. I had an occasional drink or two, but for the the most part, I assumed my efforts would pay off each month we tried. And as for being ‘to term’ at 37 weeks, how many first time moms have their babies early? VERY few. In fact, many first time moms deliver after 40 weeks.

There is no such thing as too much pampering. I waited too long to go see a chiropractor and get massages because I thought I was being a wuss. Every chiro visit and every massage I have since gotten during my pregnancy has been worth every single penny. If I had it to do all over again, I would have gone at the first twinge of back pain. Lesson learned. A pregnant woman can never spoil herself too much. In that same vein, naps and bubble baths are always a good idea.

Many women don’t really feel your pain. Just as I’ve lost count with the “Hasn’t the time flown by” comments, I’ve also lost count of how many women somehow forget what it feels like to be pregnant for the first time. If I had a dollar for the number of times I’ve heard the, “Oh just wait, it gets worse” comment in response to the very few times I’ve complained on Facebook about having an icky day, I’d be in the top 1% of the US. “It gets worse” is really not what I wanted to hear. A simple, “I’ve been there, ” or I dunno, “It’ll be worth it,” would have sufficed. In my experience, the best people to talk to about pregnancy aches and pains are a) men or b) women who have not conceived yet.

Note: There are some very amazing exceptions to this observation and those amazing people know who they are. I thank them all the time for their awesome support. 🙂

I prefer male OB/GYNs over female. As a teen, I remember thinking, “I’ll never be comfortable having a man check out my lady parts.” Let me tell ya, just with many women generally not feeling much empathy for a nervous mom-to-be, female OB/GYNs do not seem to be as empathetic as I had hoped. Thankfully my primary OB is a man. Yesterday, one of the female OBs at my doctor’s office had the gall to say to me, “Wow. I think you’re going to have a really big baby. I hope you can push him out.” YOU HOPE I CAN PUSH HIM OUT?!?! Oh my God. That’s some seriously terrible bedside manner.

What on God’s green earth did she think she was going to accomplish, other than giving me an anxiety attack?! I’m pretty sure that a male OB would be far less likely to utter those words. I’m not discounting her “You are all baby. You have not gained weight anywhere else” comment. That part was nice. But to follow it up with unnecessary anxiety about childbirth (something I’m quite terrified about already), was totally uncool. She also said, “You’re steering this ship. We will do whatever you want at the hospital.” (Also somewhat helpful, but really did not erase the previous comment.) I wanted to reply with, “Can you administer the epidural in the parking lot then? Clearly my ginormo baby is going to rip me apart.” But I refrained. Of course I didn’t want to sound the hormonal mess I actually was.

No one is short on opinions. Yes, I know this one is rather obvious, but again I cannot stress enough how much a first-time mom-to-be just needs a little reassurance from time to time. I think I’ve been pretty even keel over these 36 weeks, despite the enormous hormonal upheaval going on in my body. I am extremely thankful that we finally conceived naturally. I’ve been super excited for something big, like my shower, to something small, like washing the baby’s newborn clothes. And of course I’m beyond stoked to meet Thomas Liam!!! I also have NOT taken it for granted that I had ZERO nausea or vomiting. I count my blessings all the time.

Despite my natural positive attitude, I have had rough days. My breasts were sore for 16 weeks straight at the beginning of my pregnancy. My back has been in pain pretty much every day since my belly popped, making exercise much more difficult than I had anticipated. In addition, I don’t think a day has gone by in 36 weeks that I have not had heartburn that ranged from ‘uncomfortable’ to ‘holy crap I’m on fire.’ 99% of the time I follow the “If I don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” rule because I do remember the wonderful payoff that is coming at the end of this journey. But if I slip and I happen to share a simple complaint, I am just looking for encouragement, not a reminder that someone had it worse than me. A little cheerleading goes a LONG way.

I do know it’ll be worth it. I know what moms say must be true – all the aches and pains and anxiety must be immediately forgotten after the miracle of childbirth. I also fully agree that motherhood will be one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. But my current state of mind is, “I want to do this just once.”  Which leads me to my next observation…

It is OK to “only” have one child. Heck, it’s OK to not want/have ANY. It broke my heart to recently have met a couple who had almost a scripted disclaimer about how they did not want kids. I reassured them that there was NOTHING wrong with them and shame on anyone who didn’t respect their perfectly fine decision.

As for me – I’m an only child and I honestly do not feel like I missed out on a thing. If anything, I feel extra blessed. I never experienced sibling rivalry. I never had hand-me-downs. My parents always had time for me. So what’s not OK? Assuming we’ll have another child. (You know what they say about the word ‘assume.’) Currently, a common question we’ve heard is, “When are you going to have a second?” Or worse I’ve even heard, “You NEED to have a second.” Um, no I don’t. We’re going to do what feels right for “Team Warren” – Lindsay and Rich. Maybe that will mean a second. Maybe it won’t. Right now, one dog, one cat and one child sounds absolutely perfect to me.

But that’s up to us and no one else;-)


I’d love to hear some of your pregnancy observations! Weigh in! 🙂


12 responses

  1. Lindsay, I hope your last 4 weeks fly by!! I also hope that when it’s time for the little guy to come into the world you have a quick and easy delivery. As I’ve said many times I’m so happy and excited for you and Rich. ps… Auntie Mel is getting excited to finally meet Thomas Liam. Love ya girl!!

  2. One thing I ALWAYS try to remember is that no mom-to-be wants to hear horror stories and that, you know, I am NOT one to talk. I’ve never been pregnant!

    I always try to be celebratory and sympathetic. I’ve seen enough friends through pregnancies that I’ve learned sometimes, all you really need is someone to say, “Have a hug–hope things are better tomorrow.” Honestly, that is all you’re asking for, anyway.

    As for the no-kids thing. I HATE HATE HATE people who assume, “Oh, you’ll change your mind.” Maybe I will, maybe I won’t. That’s no one’s business but my own and Hypothetical Baby Daddy. You know what they say about opinions, though… ; )

  3. my observation is that you are a lovely person, who has travelled with grace through a pregnancy, and yes, they are LONG pregnancies. not one long restless, painful night can go by fast enough. of course their is always that wonderful gorgeous light at the end of this crazy train tunnel – the first moment that you hold him – will be no doubt the best moment of your life – I am so excited for you to experience that – because while, formerly pregger ladies may sometimes not give the best advice, or make the most thoughtful comments, they have all experienced this overwheling feeling of instant love, and it is impossible to know what it is like until you have it. I don’t forget a moment of what happened in my deliveries of my two children – I only know that I didn’t care as much about any pain once they were there. I will leave you with the best advice that I got from this wonderful woman, jackie that was my “work mom” and it is a little gross, so men avert your eyes. you know that push thing you are supposed to do (they will tell you to push from your bottom – what the crap does that mean) Push like you are pushing a Bowel movement. I know really disgustng, but everyone I have told that to, has thanked me, as I did Jackie for being smart enought to tell me that. best wishes for an early, and not long delivery – ps – what made my little guy decide to get the heck out of dodge, was a little marital relations the night before – another tip from one of my wonderful network of ladies.

  4. You got it!!! You know what’s best for you and that’s the only thing that matters. Doctors can say stupid things, but remember that you are ALWAYS in charge… You’re doing a great job, I’ve been following your progress on fb, and have been where you are. I felt the same as you do, I’ve heard the stupid comments, felt the pressure to do this and that, and honestly I sometimes caved, and looking back I wish I had stuck to what I wanted. You’ll do great, you’re doing great, and here’s to two sips of wine in a glass that you CAN drink while pregnant (but just 2 sips) 😉 for the next 4 weeks to fly super duper fast! Cheers!

    • Love you too, Cathy!!!! Thank you again for all of your amazing support! I’ve worn your awesome black dress many times. And I’m reading up on all the great materials you gave me as well. xoxo

  5. Aw, I’ve read it all and I loved it. ‘Team Warren’ that was just so sweet!! Four weeks to go, that’s nothing! I’m pretty sure that time will fly by from now on. But I do admit the last 2 weeks will probably feel like ages, ’cause just like it happens when you’re waiting for an specific moment for such a long time, the last period of waiting becomes almost unbearable, but at the same time you’ve got the bright side that is: hell, I’ve waited for 36 weeks, 15 days are nothing! And the payoff is defenitely untoppable. In my personal experience, (or actually, my non existent experience) I’m 22 years old, single and I do not have kids, but I have 5 nephews, so I’ve witnessed quite a few pregnancies. My sister, who’s got 3 children (two of which are twins!) Always says that childbirth might be hard but even though, she’d go through that experience a thousand times again just ’cause her kids are the most important thing in her life, and it was totally worth it! As to me… I’m not sure whether I want to have children… Some women (like my sister) were born to become moms, they have that mom spirit since childhood, and I’ve never had ‘that’. But at the same time.. I think that my life would feel sort of uncomplete if I’m, idk, like 60 and I have no kids at all… I tend to stress over this subject pretty often, fearing that I will never want to have babies, but yet again, I’m 22, and I *think* I’ve got plenty of time to think about that. Plus, I’m single now, never had a proper boyfriend, so maybe when Mr Right comes along, I will feel the need to have a family with him, which is what I’m truly hoping. Anyway, hope these next 4 weeks are as enjoyable as possible to you. Can’t wait to finally meet Thomas Liam! All my best wishes for you, Richard and your baby. I wish nothing but pure happiness to team Warren! Xx

    • Lali, thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog and for the wonderful comments! I so appreciate all the reassurance. Now I’ll reassure you! If you decide you want to be a mom, rest assured, you have plenty of time! Rich and I got married just before we turned 27 and we’re 35 now. In my experience, there’s no reason to rush into anything big like marriage and babies. 🙂 As for “Team Warren,” here’s the story behind that. As I mentioned, it took us a little while to conceive. On the morning that I took the pregnancy test that was finally positive, Rich had already left for work. When I called him with the exciting news, the first words he uttered were, “Go Team Warren!” I melted.

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