I’m Thankful For…

So, 2019 clearly has not been my best year.

BUT, one of the things that has made this year better is practicing gratitude. There are countless things I feel thankful for this year. After a significant loss, I really do not take anything for granted.

In no particular order, here are 30 things I’m thankful for this year:

1. Tommy — My greatest blessing.

2. My mom — My rock. Best mom ever.

3. My 3 pets — My constant company. The sweetest of sweet peas. The unconditional love.

4. My “Troy girls” — Childhood friends that I literally would not have survived this year without.

5. My “Mom Club” friends — 180ish women in the best secret group on Facebook who are there for each other in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, for the past 5 years.

6. My longtime friends who are still here for me — These are the friends that I might not see for months on end and pick up right where we left off when we get together again.

7. A reunited friendship with my “sister from another mister” Kathy. Girl, I’m so f*cking thankful you returned my email earlier this year. I will always be grateful. Thank you for a second chance.

8. My “Swimmy” ladies — 4 friends I met a decade ago thanks to the wonderful Keane. We’ve been through a lot together.

9. My Supernatural friends — These are friends I’ve known for nearly 15 years. Friends who I still text with often. Friends I still visit with in person when the stars align.

10. My Moms Demand Action friends — You all inspire me to work harder, keep going and never give up.

11. My Democrat friends — You guys remind me of the sanity in Royal Oak, in Michigan and in America.

12. My neighbors & all my Royal Oak buds — Thank God for my RO community.

13. My extended family — You know who you are. We text. We email. We share inspiring Instagram quotes. We get together when we can.

14. My health — I’m so thankful I can work out with a trainer, go to spin class, walk the dog, run 5k’s…and generally keep up with an active 7-year old as a single mama!

15. My home — I love this house. It is not perfect, but it belongs to me and Tommy and Lady and Daisy and Chloe. I love my yard. I love my street. Did I mention that I love my neighbors? I love my city!

16. My car — I love my V Dub.

17. My job — I am so incredibly thankful that I get to do meaningful work that helps animals in need.

18. My volunteer work — Gun violence prevention has become such a passion of mine. Tommy was just an infant when Sandy Hook happened. I’ll fight for common sense legislation and culture change as long as I possibly can.

19. Therapy and an antidepressant — Ooh boy. GAME CHANGERS. Everyone deserves therapy. And if that is not enough, then medicine provides better living through chemistry.

20. A new Keane album — SO worth the wait. A new album from my favorite band centered not only on divorce, but also hope? Yes please.

21. Weight loss and weight loss maintenance. Hell yes. So needed. So appreciated.

22. Times when I can live in the moment and feel joy  — live concerts, live sporting events, Tommy’s school concerts, his hockey games, his soccer games.

23. Feeling liberated enough to do things on my own — meals out, movies by myself, 5k races by myself. Independence is good.

24. Meditation — namaste.

25. My strength and resilience — I can do hard things.

26. Tommy’s therapist — a wonderful ally.

27. New traditions

28. Closure

29. Healing

30. Hope

Thankful Thursday

My 43rd Birthday

“You might think you’re not good enough, but you’ll surprise yourself if you keep trying. Your past does not determine who you are. Your past prepares you for who you are capable of becoming. What ultimately defines you is how well you rise after falling,” Marc Chernoff

To say it’s been a challenging year would be the understatement of my lifetime . But I’ve surprised myself with how much I’ve learned in 2019.

Here are a few of the lessons I’ve learned:

-Gratitude helps with healing.

-Rough seasons make us stronger.

-I’m OK whether I’m married or single.

-It’s OK to be “alone,” though I’m never really alone. My support network is amazing.

-I am enough. I like myself just as I am.

-Mom is truly the best title in the world. And I’m the best mom Tommy could ever have.

-Telling your true, authentic story can help others.

-Feeling is healing. Numbing is not.

-Grief is not linear. You just have to ride the waves.

-You cannot change others. All you can do is change your reaction to them.

-My emotional scars are also my strengths.

-Sometimes you have to let go of what you thought your life would look like and keep an open mind to what it could become.

-I’m going to be more than OK someday. I’m going to thrive someday. This is true because I’m committed to doing the hard work to heal. I will never stop trying.

-Rejection hurts more than I could ever imagine, but honestly, it is the opinion of just one person. My opinion of myself matters more.

-I still have love to give.

-My standards for a possible future relationship are very high. I will not lower those standards. And if my list of requirements is too long, I’m truly OK with being single. I will not settle.

-I will NEVER beg anyone for love.

-I am more resilient and courageous than I ever could have imagined.

-I can do hard things.

-I am honest, kind, loving, trustworthy and I have integrity. No one can take that away from me.