2nd update…Noom…I’m still LOVING it! The psychology lessons are just so great. Real accountability time: I was down 12 lbs total, but gained 2 over the last 2 weeks. NOT bad for a TON of holiday fun! And I mean a ton. I’m so grateful. Good times, good food, good drinks and most importantly GOOD FRIENDS!!!!! My heart and belly are full. ❤
My goal is to of course lose those 2 that I gained and then lose just 8 more for a total of 20. I CAN and WILL do it.
To kickstart, I’m doing Dry January — well, minus ONE evening when I’m celebrating an incredible childhood friend who graduated with her nursing degree! THAT is a great exception!
3rd update…Grad school is amazing. I aced my first two courses and am looking forward to a busy year of courses this year: two classes this spring semester, two this summer, two this fall. One break in August. One in December. Courses this year include: ethics, multicultural counseling, intro to counseling for addictions, diagnosis and treatment planning, assessment, and lastly, research in counseling. I cannot wait! I hope to ace all of these as well.
4th update: I will continue in talk therapy for as long as needed. My most important therapeutic goal for 2023 is to calm my nervous system so I consistently “go with the flow” / overall feel more even keel.
Final update…I’m still making a consistent, courageous effort to find real love. I am on dating apps, I have a new friend trying to hook me up with a few good men and I’m open to any of you doing the same. Thank you!
February 7, 2023 update: The two holiday pounds are back off as well as one more pound! 13 down, 7 to go.
Four years as a twosome…scratch that…four years as a dynamic duo! ♥️
Four years ago was the worst day of my life. If you are new to my blog, you can read about that day here.
I can easily say my hardest day is behind me. Before you tell me I’m naive and that life will always throw curve balls, hear me out. Yes, there will be hard days during Act Two. There already have been plenty of tough days: deaths — of family members, of dreams for possible romantic relationships, and on and on. But the difference now is, I’m a million times stronger now than I was four years ago today.
In the four years since life threw me my biggest and most unexpected curve ball, I have truly gotten my shit together. Therapy and an antidepressant have been at the center of my healing. Leaning on friends, family and my pets has also been integral. Soul searching – soooooooooo much damn soul searching – has taken place as well. A ridiculous amount of self-help books have been read. I can’t forget the podcasts. Meditation and exercise too. All the effort. Rest and self-care too. The “new” / old, charming house was a game changer too. I’m finally OK in my own skin. And lest I forget the group texts. Thank God for group texts. I’m a lucky girl to have so many women in my life who love me. 😍
And I am thrilled to report that finally figuring out a new career and starting graduate school to pursue that career has been so significant in re-writing my life. After benefiting from talk therapy for a few years, it finally hit me. I could BECOME a therapist! I love to help others and what an incredible way to give back. What an incredible way to put love out into the world.
I was scared out of my mind to apply to grad school at age 45. I mean, I already have a Master’s degree. And I said I’d “never” go back to school. Haha, I guess never say never! (Except about a minivan. I’m NEVER getting one of those. NEVER.)
I started my first course in September. My courses are offered one at a time, which is great for us adults with jobs, kids, volunteer work and more. They are only 8 weeks long and that makes them quite intense! There is usually 1 to 2 chapters to read per week, along with a quiz, group project or writing assignment. I’m happy to say that I got As in both of my courses I took this fall!
I’m also happy to say that graduate school has given my life a new purpose. I have a full, busy life being a single mom, but a career that I was passionate about was a big, missing piece. I have always done best in life when I’m working on things that excite me. And without a partner, I have to admit, a lot of this chapter of my life has been BORING. Before my girlfriends get mad at me, let me clarify…You are anything but boring! But you don’t alway have time for Ms. Single Mom. Or you have, but maybe you did not always want to invite the single girl out. I get it. Trust me I do. I was partnered for 24. years. Having this new responsibility has not only given me more to do and more PURPOSE, but has also helped my self-esteem. The best way to improve one’s self-esteem is to learn something new! And my goodness, I’m learning SO MUCH! It also helps that I LOVE the subject matter!
Speaking of self-esteem, something else that I am proud of is how I have put myself out there, been vulnerable and opened myself up to dating. I have yet to have success, but my original goal was 1. go on dates (done) and 2. have zero expectations (also done). So I’ll just keep at it, and hopefully someday I’ll meet my new best friend, the person I can call or text first when something good or bad happens, the person I can go on date night with and the person who can be my +1 at fun events! Fingers and toes are crossed.
One other part of increasing my self-esteem and becoming a rising Phoenix is the care I have done on myself — both inside and out. I continue to find success with Noom. 12 pounds down, a few more to go! I have no problem reading psychology-based articles, logging my food and logging my weight daily. It’s keeping me accountable — to myself! Man, that is such a great feeling. Oh, and I ran a 10k – on a whim – this year too! Thank you to girlfriends for pushing me to believe in myself more!
So, one year ago today I called myself a “Phoenix in Training.” I was not ready to say anything more yet.
Today, I am OK with calling myself a “Phoenix Rising.” Do I still have bad days from time to time? Of course. But they are fewer and my gosh do I bounce back faster from each one. I’m not 100% where I want to be yet, but I’m heck of a lot closer than I was 365 days ago. I’m pretty proud. ♥️
“Life, it could change, it could change in a day La, da-da-da-da, la, da-da-da-da So cherish your years and just roll with the waves La, da-da-da-da, la, da-da-da-da Time doesn’t hear, so roll with the waves,”
~Imagine Dragons, Waves
As suspected, I have not had much time to write any blog posts since I started my counseling program online this fall. I’ve been busy reading, writing, working on group projects and taking quizzes. I have loved every single second of it! So while I miss blogging, I’m thoroughly enjoying this new direction in my life.
Since we are at the start of Thanksgiving week (and I have the week off school), I wanted to take stock of alllllllll the good that I have experienced in 2022. Let’s take a look back…
I have to say, what a difference a year makes! Man, this has been such a good year.
2022 has been the year of the concerts! I had the pleasure of seeing Imagine Dragons (in Pittsburgh for Tommy’s 10th birthday and in London, ON with Canadian friends), Glass Animals in Nashville, NKOTB, OneRepublic, Mat Kearney, The Script, Snow Patrol, Halsey, Our Lady Peace and local shows too! I am beyond grateful for all of these amazing, incredible, joyful experiences. Time stands still for me at concerts. I said yes to every show this year and I have zero regrets.
Kathy and I at Our Lady Peace
2022 has been the year of “baby pink” hair. No, it is not a midlife crisis. But I’ve always looked good in pink, so I added it to my hair! I love it. It’s fun and playful and not over-the-top. New is fun!
(If you are unsure of the phrase on my shirt…you definitely need to check out Ted Lasso.)
2022 has been the year we FINALLY (after nearly 40 years) elected a Democratic majority in Michigan. Women’s bodily autonomy was codified here as well. Thank goodness for some common sense. Now let’s get some gun laws passed and save some lives!!!
Love me some Big Gretch, “that woman from Michigan.”
2022 has been the year of the most fun hangouts with my Royal Oak girl friends. No matter what it was — a birthday, book club meeting, trivia night, drag queen bingo, the school road rally, a backyard barbecue, breakfast, lunch, dinner, brunch, happy hour, Friendsgiving or a party at my house the night my ex got re-married and my darling child donned a tuxedo for the first time — there have been endless smiles and laughs. My heart is full.
We have the BEST neighbors here. Period.
2022 has been the year of self-care. I’m not just talking about pedicures and massages, though I absolutely made time for those. I finally took care of my eyes. Surgery has been life-changing. I had a wake up call early in the year when I was driving at night and had pretty bad double vision. I’m eternally grateful for the team at the Beaumont Eye Institute. Highly recommend if you have ANY eye issues. Surgery was a success, I did fine with anesthesia and recovery was very low-pain.
Whew, it feels good to have had that surgery!
2022 has been the year of NORMALCY! THANK. GOD. FINALLY. I had such a blast being a part of Tommy’s field trips, his field day and his fun run. Both the Fur Ball and Bowl-4-Animal Rescue were in person this year. The Royal Oak City-Wide Block Party returned as well. Tommy and I got the latest Covid boosters! I participated in 5k races again. I’m so lucky to be able to do these things while continuing to work part-time while I am in grad school.
My mom and I at the Fur Ball
2022 has the year of many new beginnings. I applied for, got accepted and started graduate school to begin a new career in counseling. I think I was born to be a counselor. I think I’m going to be really good at it. I have a TON to learn, but I’m more than ready!
Next, I started a new healthy eating plan with Noom. I love that it is based in psychology so I tried it out and I’m so glad I did! I have found it extremely easy to manage and I’m down just shy of 10 pounds. I think I’ll hit the 10 pound mark tomorrow! It has been the slowest and healthiest weight loss plan I have ever attempted and I think slow and steady will win the race. Maintenance is important for me and I truly think this will be a lifelong, healthy change in eating.
Another wonderful “new” beginning — I continue to make new girl friends. I have never lived anywhere longer than where I now live. I love this city so much and I love it even more with each new person I meet. On that note…
And onne more new beginning…I finally got the courage to “swipe right” on dating apps. I am grateful for my therapist gently guiding me through this process and gently nudging me to consider people I may not have if she had not suggested their positive qualities. I have met a few decent people and been on a couple of dates with someone lovely…and emotionally available! Fingers crossed for a continued connection. (Yes I buried the lede with this news. I’m maintaining a balance of ZERO expectations and hopefulness.)I can say this part with confidence – I will never consider someone emotionally unavailable again. This “quality time” girl will not waste her time on anyone unsure of me.
I LOVE this quote and I try to live it all the time as I evolve into the best possible version of me.
So…What are YOU thankful for so far in 2022? What are you looking forward to in 2023? I know we still have a little over a month to go until the new year, but in case I do not have the time to blog again in 2022, I’m asking now!
What will 2023 hold for me? I have a feeling there are going to be REALLY GOOD THINGS. I feel incredibly thankful for all that happened so far this year and just as hopeful for next year. I’m going to continue to roll with the waves.
Lindsay Warren's Blog 